


The Creation of King Yakko

by ReggieJackson



Series: Lights, Camera, Cut!!! [4]
Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Comedy of Errors, Filming, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Mistakes, Short & Sweet, bloopers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReggieJackson/pseuds/ReggieJackson
Summary: A new installment of "Lights, Camera, Cut!"Its 1993 and the Warners are about to shoot their newest short, King Yakko. But when Yakko relishes at the fact that he has a leading role for once, this leads to him butting heads with his  new costar, along with a couple of other shenanigans.When the Warners are on camera, they may make it look easy, But sometimes even the simplest of cartoon shorts can come out of the most chaotic situations. Warning: brief mature themes and language.





	1. A Scene Chewers Fantasy

Spring 1993

King Yakko

Day 1:

"Make no middleman…I am the King!"Yakko blared to an imaginary audience, his arms wide open. His feet were damp from the dew covered grassy hillside. His golden crown gleamed in the morning 10 AM sun. Off in the distance, several miles away was the town of Amsterdam. He barely heard the few extra footsteps behind him.

"Oh dear, he's already in costume" Dot shook her head.

"He's been at it since 7 this morning…" Mike, the director grumbled. "Yakko… Hey, Yakko!"

"I got it." Dot lifted the crown from his head. The eldest sibling blinked in realization. "Hey, Mr. Ham! Can we have my brother back?"

"Hey, sis. Where's Wakko?"

"We were hoping you'd know, clearly that's not the case" Mike cut in flatly.

Yakko pulled out the script copy from his hammerspace. "Can't I help it if this script was made for me?

"No, but it be better if you helped us instead" Dot spat back.

"Alright, I'm coming already"

The two Warner siblings and the director aimlessly roamed the entire set as they looked for their younger brother. They passed within crew members peppering the grassy hillside. This episode was a special occasion for the Warners. It would be the first time they had ever stepped foot outside the country. But neither Wakko nor Dot's excitement combined could even rival that of Yakko's. Not only was he playing the lead role, but he also had very few pre-written lines. Which would give him more than enough room to ad lib. But improvisation would have to wait.

"Yakko! Where are you, little bro?!" Yakko called out.

"You've seen him?" Dot asked two other crew members. Both of them shook their heads.

"Yo Ed, you've seen Yakko?" Mike asked Ed. The head cameraman lazily sat in a chair, His head was buried in a subscription of High Times.

"Nah" he replied bluntly.

"Wait, I see him!" Dot pointed to where she spotted him. They found Wakko sitting on the ground. He was looking up at a tall black box, a large window on each side. Muffled audio could faintly be heard from inside.

" _Here among the dramatic Aramean Mountains in the Hinkle River Valley, lies the tiny kingdom of Anvilania. The world's largest producer and exporter of one thing anvils_ …"

"What are you doing Wakko?" Yakko asked.

"Just exploring the movie set, what is this?" Wakko said, pointing at the box.

"That's a sound booth, sometimes they use these in case actors need to do extra voice-over work."

"Wonder who's inside?" said Dot. Yakko picked up something of the ground.

"Well, according to this clipboard, it's Frank Welker," Yakko answered. The trio stood on their toes in an attempt to see in inside. What they saw horrified them. Wakko gripped both hands on the side of the door and ripped it open. Off in a distance, they could see Mike hurrying towards them.

"Wait doesn't open that..!" Mike yelled. The unhinged door flew just above his own head. Inside the booth, the voice actor jumped in his seat.

"What the?!" Mr. Plotz yelled out. He nearly bonked his bald noggin on a microphone.

"You're not Frank Welker!" Yakko yelled out.

"What did you do to him you monster?! Did you eat him?" Dot cried out.

"Wakko climbed onto Plotz and stretched the CEO's mouth wide open. "Hello, Hello!" his voice echoed. Plotz flung him to the ground.

"Get off me!" Plotz growled. "I didn't eat him, you nitwit! I'm filling in for him! He's out sick!"

"You do voice acting?" Dot wondered

"Of course, how do you think I got into show business?" Plotz saw Yakko raise his hand. "On second thought, don't answer that"

"Who is Frank Welker?" Wakko picked up the clipboard Yakko dropped. Plotz gave him an incredulous stare.

"Who is he?! The best actor to walk the earth!"

"Wait-he can't be any better than McNeille!" Dot protested.

"Yeah, even though Harnell is much better." Wakko jumped in. Dot shot a side glare at him.

"Please, he's better and far more experienced than those two combined!" Plotz scoffed.

"Hey!" The two of them didn't take that well.

"Hey hey, Sibs!" Yakko reassured them. "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion…"

"And he definitely trumps that hack, Robert Paulsen!" Plotz added. The Warner's smile broke away.

"…except when their opinion is clearly a bunch of donkey…"

"Plotz, are you alright?!" Mike's voice interrupted. Yakko quietly slid the handle of his mallet back into his hammerspace. "I'm sorry I should have told them you'd be here…"

"Little late for that aren't we?" Plotz scowled at him. He got down from his chair.

"Hey, where you going T. P.?" Wakko asked.

"Leaving, I only wanted to be here for one hour. I still got a vacation to finish up"

"Sure you do…" Yakko and Wakko said in unison. Their eyebrows rose in sync.

"It's okay, we know you couldn't stand to be away from us." Dot added sweetly.

Plotz nearly sputtered to say another insult when Mike jumped in front of him. "Thanks again for volunteering, I know filling in for Welker is  _really_  huge favor…"

Plotz cut him off before he could butter him up some more "Don't thank me, just promise everything will be done by the end of the week."

"Trust me everything will be smooth, as silk" Yakko rolled his eyes at Mike's response.

Plotz sweetly patted the director's cheeks. "Oh, I know so, cause if anything bad happened here, Id make sure you never worked in a studio again." The CEO walked off on that cheerful note.

"Uh... okay"

"Bye T.P!" the trio chirped.

"Don't go overboard on the spray on tan!" Yakko cheered.

The CEO looked back and grumbled as he stormed off. When the trio looked behind them, Mike stood there. Glaring at them.

"You know when the CEO of Warner Bros lets you out of the country for the very first time. This is _not_  how you thank him!"

"Hey relax, that's T.P. in a good mood." Said Yakko.

"Whatever, just try not be too destructive while we're here. We only got three days..."

"Sure Mikey, onward siblings! Make no middle man, I am the king!" Yakko strutted with a flick of his crown. His brother followed after him.

"This is going to be painful…" Dot mused. Just as she ran off, the floor manager came forward.

"Mike we got a problem, the extra playing the third guard is sick."

"What?" Mike rubbed his forehead at hearing this.

"You know anyone else that can do it?"

"Oh man…" an idea sprang up. He could see one of his fellow cameramen rig up a camera stand. "Uh, Ed can you do me a quick favor…?"

[Scene 1 Take 1]

The short started off with Plotz's vocal intro over a fictional map.

" _Here among the dramatic Aramean Mountains in the Hinkle River Valley, lies the tiny kingdom of Anvilania. The world's largest producer and exporter of one thing, anvils."_

The shot dissolved into another one revealing a glorious white castle, which in reality was a small brown remote castle with a temporary facade built around it. This was done since the crew was unable to rent out on the larger castles peppered around Amsterdam. That and Mike didn't want the Warners to destroy a real castle by accident.

" _And on this very day, the citizens of Anvialiana are awaiting to the arrival of the heir to the throne. The man who's been chosen as the new king."_

"The King approaches!" The first guard voice was barely audible.

What?!" The second guard yelled out.

"The king approaches!" the guard voice nearly broke.

"Cut! Come on! The 'what' part isn't until later!" Mike barked. After a brief microphone change, the scene resumed."And…Action"

[Scene 1 Take 2]

"The King approaches!" the first guard was heard clearly this time.

"The king approaches!" the second guard yelled. At the bottom were Nurse and the third guard.

"The king approaches" the third guard recited half-heartedly.

"Cut!" Mike shouted. "Ed, what was that? I know you can be a bit more energetic than that"

"Mike, I'm a cameraman. I  _don't_  act."

"You can, and you will. You're only other person that can fit the costume. Now suck in that gut!"

"Geez…"

[Scene 1 Take 3]

"…The king approaches!" the second guard yelled again.

"The king ap\- gahh!" Nurse had ripped off the top half of Ed's costume. She examined all the creases and joints in the armor plates. Ed's belly jiggled when he shivered in the cool breeze.

"Nurse, what are you doing?!" Mike yelled.

"Checking to see if Mr." Bangs the drum slowly" has his instrument on hand." She replied, giving a distasteful look towards Ed.

"I told you that wasn't me!" the half-naked cameraman protested. Mike rubbed his head; he did not need to be reminded of the "Piano Rag" ordeal.

[Scene 1 Take 4]

"The king approaches!" the second one yelled.

"The King approaches!" Ed bellowed into Nurse's ears.

"I heard" Nurse groaned, clearly not amused.

"Oh, excuse me prime minister" he apologized. A blare of trumpets soon followed.

" _The kiiinng_ " a chorus of guards recited in harmony. Nurse came down from the steps just as the music began to play in the background.

" _Good folk of Anvilania we…_ " she let out a yawn. She hunched over and rubbed her eyes.

"Cut! Stop! Nurse you alright?" Mike asked.

"Sorry, I been rehearsing my lines since 7 this morning." She replied. A random crew member came up with a cup of coffee. "Thank you"

[Scene 1 Take 5]

" _Good folk of Anvilania we welcome our new king, so raise your hammers high and let the anvils ring… "_

Meanwhile off in a distance, Yakko jittered with goosebumps as he and his siblings rode in on an inflatable limo. He could hear the chiming of anvils followed by the chorus.

" _We let the anvils ring, to welcome our new king. The king…! "_

"I love that sound…" he shuddered. A few shushes came from his siblings. The excited Anivilanians cheered on as the limo pulled up the castle. The vehicle screeched to a stop… but not without bumping into a few bystanders.

"Ow! My leg! Aaagh!"

"Cut!" Mike yelled.

[Scene 1 Take 7]

This time a wider place was cleared for the oncoming limo. Out of nowhere, Yakko sprang from the hood, fireworks blasting below him. Glitter gleamed from his sunglasses to the gold sashes around his military-inspired jumpsuit. Mike felt like he was watching the Superbowl halftime show all over again.

"Cut! Yakko, you know there's no scripted line for you in this part. And you know I don't have a problem with you ad-libbing."

"So what's the problem?" Yakko slowly took off the glasses.

"Could you do something a _little_  less over the top?"

[Scene 1 Take 8]

Yakko sprang out the hood with a pair of regular sunglasses. "Live from Amsterdam, It's Friday Morning!"

"Cut! Little less Yakko"

[Scene 1 Take 10]

"Hello, my people, my lovely people."

"You don't know what over the top is, do you?" Dot shook her head.

"Little less," said Mike.

[Scene 1 Take 12]

"Make no middleman! I am the king!"

"That isn't until later Yakko." Mike bristled.

"I know, I just love saying that line."

[Scene 1 Take 13]

"Hello my name is Yakko, I will be your king this evening. If you need anything, just ask."

His siblings appeared with pins. Their smiles disappeared when they repeatedly stabbed the side the limo. But with no results.

"Come on! Pop!" Wakko groaned.

[Scene 1 Take 14]

Finally, the Limo popped; the vehicle deflated around their feet.

"Still think live in Amsterdam was better…" Yakko mumbled.

[Scene 1 Take 15]

The trio walked over to Nurse, who responded with a curtsy.

"May I present myself? I am…" she let out another yawn. "Too tired to talk to." She rested her arms on Yakko's head.

"Hello, too tired to talk to Nurse!" Wakko whooped.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a great episode to work on." Yakko beamed.

"Cut! Someone bring her some coffee." Mike yelled. Wakko lifted up his cap to reveal a cup of coffee on his head. He handed to her.

"Thank you," said Nurse.

[Scene 1 Take 16]

"May I present myself? I am the prime minister"

Both Warner brothers got down on fours, their tails wagging like puppies. "Hello, Prime Minister Nurse!"

Dot covered her face in embarrassment. "Boys, do they get better when they get older?"

Another blare of trumpets followed. Nurse moved the scene forward, "We welcome you with the national anthem of Anvilania. As sung by one of our national treasures, Mr. Perry Coma"

A man stood alone on stage. He snapped his fingers and perkily stepped in rhythm. " _Anvilania, Hey Anvilainia! My home in where I stand...! "_

"Cut! Perry, I told you earlier to sing it slow" Mike complained

"But this is slow, it's a ballad" Perry stared at him incredulously.

"Well do it slower…"

[Scene 1 Take 17]

" _Anvilania, Anvilania. My home is where."_  This time Perry remained perfectly still, but he still snapped his fingers. Although it was slower, it still wasn't what Mike wanted.

"Cut!"

[Scene 1 Take 18]

" _Anvilania, Anvilania. My home… "_

"Reaally slow…"

[Scene 1 Take 20]

" _Anvilania, Anvilania My… "_

"Sing as slowly as you can.

[Scene 1 Take 23]

" _Anvilania, Anvilania_ "

"Perry!"

"How slow do you want it?!" the singer answered irritably.

"As slow as the Beanie the Cerebrally Challenged Bison"

"Hey, he's Brain dead, there's a difference!" Yakko remarked in offense.

"Where's our vocal coach? Mike turned to his floor manager.

"She's sick too" The floor manager answered.

"What?! Her too?! What is going on..?!" Mike facepalmed. "Okay, uh just do the song as if you're yawning"

"What?!"

Mike pointed to Nurse, "She how's she's yawning? Now yawn for me" Perry faked a yawn for him. "Good! Now draw that yawn out as long as you can like this, ahhh…" Mike had his fingers in the corner of his mouth.

"Aaahhhh…" Perry matched his body language.

"Ahhh…! Longer! Ahhhhh…"

"Ahhhh…"

At this point, Mike jaw was literally hanging to the ground. Meanwhile, everyone stared at the droning men in complete bewilderment.

"The hell you doin' Mike?" Ed exclaimed.

"Our director, everyone" Dot commented. Both her brothers' squeezed their long ears shut.

"Uh… I think he's got it Mike" Yakko added.

[Scene 1 Take 24]

" _Aaaanvilana…Anvillannaa… " _Perry droned into the microphone. Mike gave a brief thumbs up in the back. It was perfect. The song was so dull, it was starting to put the audience to sleep. Which is exactly what was supposed to happen. Finally, he stopped.

Yakko and Dot uncovered their ears. "That's the national anthem?"

"It's not all bad," said Wakko. Nurse had fallen asleep on his head.

Both of the Warners blew into some paper bags and popped them. The crowd woke up instantly. All except Nurse, who still snoozed away.

"Whoa, she's really knocked out." Yakko noticed.

"And I'm out of coffee…" Wakko looked inside his hat.

"I won, Wha… my… prize?" Nurse mumbled in a dazed like state.

"A date with Pauly Shore" Dot whispered in her ear. Nurse woke with a scream.

[Scene 1 Take 25]

"Good Anvilanians, I present the heir to the throne." Nurse resumed with renewed energy.

" _Let us introduce our seehhlves… "_ Yakko squawked completely out of key.

"Cut!" Mike jumped out of his chair and stormed right towards Yakko.

"Yakko, did you remember to rehearse?"

"Uhhhh, yeah" Yakko innocently looked around.

"What's with the uhhh… yeah" the director narrowed his eyes.

"Uhhh…What about it?"

"Uhh….cause that makes me think you're lying"

"Come on! That was just vocal warm up… do re fa so la ti do! And action!"

[Scene 1 Take 26]

" _L et us introduce ourselves, o people of this land_" His pitch shifted on people and land.

Wakko couldn't help but cringe as he slid to his side, " _We are the Warners Brothers"_

Dot walked in the shot, her hand buried into her face. " _With sister close at hand_ "

"Cut!"

"Is this still part of the warm-up?" asked Wakko.

"Okay so maybe I haven't practiced as much as I needed to" Yakko guiltily admitted.

[Scene 1 Take 28]

" _Let us introduce ourselves, o people of this land_ "

" _We are the Warners Brothers"_  Wakko slid to his side.

" _With sister close at hand_ " Dot came at his other side.

" _I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown…"_ Yakko's voice broke again at unknown.

"Cut!"

Sorry, I'm really having trouble hitting those high notes."

"Wait! I got an idea." Wakko pulled out two things from his gag bag, a helium pump and then a red balloon. He inflated said balloon and handed it to Yakko. He let some of the gas seep into his mouth.

[Scene 1 Take 29]

"I _bet you all are wondering…_  What the?!" Yakko voice squealed like a rabid chipmunk. Both his siblings fell back laughing.

"That really isn't any better guys" Mike winced at the shrill noise. He barely noticed Wakko giving the balloon for Dot to use before using it on himself.

" _Christmas, Christmas, loop de loop! Time for_ …" the trio squeaked in three-part harmony.

"Argh! Make it stop!" Ed cried out. Several of the extras covered their ears.

"Cut! Cut!"

After a few minutes and a cup of water, Yakko's voice had calmed down enough to re-shoot.

[Scene 1 Take 30]

" _I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown, and why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne."_

" _Yes why, yes why. Oh please please tell us why. " _The crowd joined in.

" _The bottom of the family tree starts with Yakko that is mee…._ " Dot and Wakko brought a large chart showing their entire family tree. " _I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's nieces uh, a daddadda, and my grandma's only cousin was the…!_ "

"Nope! Cut!"

[Scene 1 Take 31]

" _I 'm the cousin of the brother's fathers mother…"_

[Scene 1 Take 32]

Wakko pulled out a metro meter from his gag bag. Yakko held his script in his hand.

"I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle…" he recited to the rhythm of each beat. " I feel like there's an incest joke in there somewhere"

"Well don't bring it out! This is a kid's show" Mike scolded. The Warners rolled their eyes.

"Sure it is…" They replied in unison.

"Ugh..."

[Scene 1 Take 34]

" _I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle daughter's father of the nephew's sister mother, and my grandma's only cousin was the king's daughter siblings…!"_

" _But they're all gone_ " the chorus responded

" _So that is why…I am now your king"_

" _He is now our king"_

_Yes, I am now your king, repeat what I just said._

_Repeat what I just said"_

_And let the anvils ring"_

All of the Warners performed a three-part xylophone solo, complete with anvils varying in size. Yakko dragged a medium sized anvil while Dot dinged higher notes on a tiny one. Wakko ran up to a large anvil and bashed one long note into it. He dizzily collapsed onto the ground.

"Whoa! Wakko are you alright?" Dot asked.

"Yeah, just forgot my helmet." Wakko held his head.

[Scene 1 Take 35]

This time with a helmet underneath his cap, Wakko banged several lower notes on the anvil.

" _Oh King anvils mania_ " The Warners sang together. " _Was for Anvilania… "_ Both Yakko and Dot popped out from behind a bulbous looking extra. Wakko slid up from between his legs. This caused the man to lose balance and topple backward.

"Arrggh! Someone get him off us!" Dot squealed.

[Scene 1 Take 36]

" _Was for Anvilania_ " the scene resumed with Yakko hopping across a row of anvils. Just above them, a row of men dinged several notes on them with mallets. This was unfortunate for Yakko, as he came in a little too early.

_Whack!_

"Ouch! Someone cater to the royal foot!" Yakko howled in pain.

[Scene 1 Take 37]

This time Yakko came in _after_  the anvils had been rung.

" _So good citizens I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do.… "_

The anvils he hopped on continued to get higher and higher. Making his jumps bigger a lot more precarious. The last one he reached was a good several feet away. Without hesitation, he went for it… and a moment later his face tasted the cold hard iron.

"Oooh" Dot and Wakko winched.

[Scene 1 Take 38]

" _So good citizens I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do. For on our country… "_ This time he paused, then he ran for it. He cleared the jump. "Yes!" Ecstatic, Yakko did another jump for joy. No sooner when he did that, he fell right off the ledge.

[Scene 1 Take 39]

"… _I'll do the best that I can do. For on our country and our king!"  _Yakko's ability hit the last high note was undercut by feedback squealing through the microphones.

[Scene 1 Take 40]

" _...king! Let the anvils ring_ "

" _Let the anvils_  ring" the chorus returned to finish off the song.

" _Let the anvils"_

" _Let the anvils ring!"_

This time the rest of the scene goes as planned. Several extras hammered down on more rows of anvils. The entire castle shook and trembled from the vibrations. They were so strong that Yakko lost his balance and fell off. This, however, _was_  intentional. Nurse came forward.

"Come your majesty. It's time for your…" The subtle vibration made her stumble and hit the anvil face first.

[Scene 1 Take 41]

"Come you're majesty, it is time for your coronation." This time Yakko grabbed her just before she fell. He led her inside the castle where two guards still shook from the song. Their armor fell off, leaving them in nothing but their shorts.

Cut! Perfect!" Mike cheered. The first scene was finally done.

Within the next hour, everything for the next scene was set up inside the old castle. Yakko and his sibling's knelt before Nurse and a bishop. Mike readied his megaphone.

"And… Action!"

[Scene 2 Take 1]

"I crown thee Yakko, king of Anvilania. Holder of the scepter." The bishop handed a scepter to Yakko. Yakko nearly lost his footing when the golden item laid into his hands. "And for the royal family, wearer of the medals…" He handed the medals to Dot. "And defender of the anvils"he handed the anvils to Wakko. Yakko stared at his siblings in complete befuddlement.

"You have anything in a sanzelbelt with, I'm sorry. Hold up!" Yakko dropped his scepter

"Cut! What is Yakko?" Mike called out.

"No offense, but shouldn't all this stuff here should be handed to me? I am the king!"

"But this stuffs made of real gold and iron," said Wakko

You won't be able to carry it all." Dot added.

"Don't worry I got it!" Yakko waved off their concern. "Lay it on me, Bishop!"

"Okay…" the bishop shrugged.

[Scene 2 Take 2]

"I crown thee Yakko, king of Anvilania."Holder of the scepter, wearer of the medals," This time the bishop handed Yakko the medals. While it was hard enough to carry the scepter, Yakko's rubbery neck could barely support the solid gold medals draping around him. "And defender of the anvils." Each item was steadily weighing him down, but the anvil flattened him against the hard floor.

"You have anything in a sanzabelt with a skoosh more room?" Yakko uttered breathlessly.

"Huh, that actually worked better than in the script" Mike stated.

"Told you it was too heavy" Dot looked down at him. Yakko looked up the camera hovering above him. Ed, who was back in his regular clothes, happened to be filming this particular shot.

"Ed, will you assist the royal highness..?" he struggled to get his gifts off him.

"I'm not your flunky, Rudolph" Ed grumbled. Yakko shot a brief glare before the rest of the scene went on as planned.

[Scene 2 Take 3]

"And now the national anthem." Nurse declared

"Not again!" the trio whined.

"Anvillaniaaa…." Perry redid his sleep-inducing performance from earlier. The same result came as well. After writhing on the floor in pure agony, the Warners popped some paper bags, waking the crowd back up. The rest of the scene continued.

The bishop led Yakko to his throne. "King Yakko, your throne"

"You're throne, how do lift the lid?" Wakko asked.

"Since when do you lift the lid?" Dot retorted sharply. While the scene was going on as planned, Mike turned away for a brief moment.

"Hey, is the jester ready?"

The floor manager simply opened the door behind him. The person in question backflipped into the room.

"Here I am!" He strutted onto the set, the bells on his floppy hat jingled with each step.

"…May I introduce you to the court jester?" Nurse asked Yakko.

"You may" Yakko answered.

Then the jester began his joke, "Hey, I wanna tell you, folks, this anvil was so big…

"How big was it..?" The crowd asked.

Thud! An anvil slammed to the ground right behind the jester. He looked behind him. "I don't know!"

Mike grimaced at the jester's cheesy grin. "Cut!"

[Scene 2 Take 5]

"How big was it?" the crowd shouted again.

"Bigger than our cameraman's belly. I swear you could play bongos on him" Ed flicked him off off-screen.

"Some people are so sensitive," Dot remarked at Ed's gesture.

Several more takes continued. With each anvil missing the jester by inches, each take constantly tested Mike's patience. And each 'joke' constantly tested everyone else's nerves.

"Bigger than my bank account"

[Scene 2 Take 8]

"Bigger than my ex-wife"

[Scene 2 Take 12]

"Big as that those Warner's red noses, They must be reindeer or really love that bottle, know what I mean?"

"Hey!" Dot rubbed her own nose.

"We only tried the stuff one time…!" Wakko protested before Dot clamped his mouth shut. Now was not the time for too much information.

"The king is not amused" Yakko wielded his scepter with a sour look on his face.

"Neither am I" Mike added. "Cut!"

[Scene 2 Take 13]

"How big was it?" the crowd asked halfheartedly. Finally, the anvil land flat on the jester's head.

"I don't know I can't see the cue cards" he dizzily moaned.

"Your majesty, now be a good time to, greet the people with your …address." Nurse drowsily nodded her head while saying so.

"Dresses would be Dot's department."Yakko pointed behind her. Nurse turned around, not realizing her breast accidentally rested onto Yakko's head. The adolescent Warner said nothing as the biggest grin stretched across his face.

Ed happened to be filming this particular shot. He muttered. "Lucky son of a b.."

"Cut!" Mike yelled. Nurse bobbed her head up.

"What happened" she yawned.

"Just a brief mistake Nurse," said Mike, not letting on what happened.

"We don't make mistakes, just happy accidents," Yakko said in a hushed voice. He twiddled his scepter as an imaginary paintbrush.

[Scene 2 Take 14]

"Your majesty now would be a good time to greet the people with your address."

"Dresses would be Dot's department"

"I'm introducing a new fall line!" said Dot. She wheeled in a clothes line of dresses that were all the same color.

"Polka Dot?" Nurse asked.

"If you insist" she replied. She and the other Wanrers broke into an impromptu polka session. Wakko played along with a fake accordion while music played in the background.

" _Ah, ah, ah, staying alive, staying alive…_ " Up-tempo disco music bumped throughout the temporarily installed speakers.

"Whoa hold up! What's up with the music?!" Mike yelled over the music.

"Someone has been messing with sound engineer's equipment. We can fix it later" the floor manager replied. The Warners continued with their dance until the music stopped.

"No, no I meant for the king to give his address to the kingdom" Nurse corrected the Warners.

"And, Cut!" Mike called out. "Nurse, you can sit out this next bit"

"Good…" Nurse moaned. She leaned against Yakko's throne and dozed off. Wakko threw a blanket over her for comfort.

[Scene 2 Take 15]

A thunderous cheer came from outside the castle. Yakko headed towards one of the castle's balcony and looked down at the crowd below him.

"Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me"

Wakko played a rim shot on drum set not far behind him. The response was nothing but silence.

"Thank you, and now for my address. King Yakko Anvillania, 902010. As your sovereign leader I promise not to abuse my total unyielding supreme absolute power over you. But I must ask you this…" he looked around the audience below him. "Can you do the Tomahawk chop?" his response was nothing but more silence. "The electric slide?" More silence, and some confused frowns. "Free bird chant? Everyone knows that one!" More of the same.

"What's wrong with this crowd?" Yakko turned around.

"Yakko, most of these extras are Dutch natives. They're not going to get all your stuff." Mike explained.

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Just do something that's universal, something anybody can get. Like my Gookie!" Wakko proposed. He then proceeded to puff out his cheeks into his signature gookie face.

"Our show hasn't even come out yet Wakko, it's not a thing!" Dot corrected.

"It will be…" Wakko responded with a sly grin. "Do, something simple"

[Scene 2 Take 16]

"But I must ask you one thing! Can you do this?" Yakko then pulled at the corner of his lips, babbling from the mouth. "Bablbalble…" A few crowd members did likewise.

_"Bablbalble…"_

"Ooh very good! How about this?" This time he pulled at his mouth and ears. "Eeeeeeee!" more of the crowd did the same.

" _Eeeeeee!"_

"My people" Yakko mused with satisfaction. "Now here's an old favorite…" Yakko proceeded to do several sillier faces and sounds.

"Got to hand it to him, he's adaptable" Mike stated.

"That's our older bro for you!" Wakko answered proudly.

"Very nice! Okay now, this!" Yakko was now spinning his arms like a helicopter. Y"aahhawhoa!"

" _Yaahawoah_!"

"And that's our brother going overboard," said Dot.

"Can you do this?" All of the sudden Yakko and the crowd were doing jumping jacks. The ground began to rumble.

Mike nearly lost his balance. "Yakko stop…!"

"Now here's another old one! Boingy Boingy Boingy…!" Yakko bounced in place, the audience did likewise. The vibration from all the pogo dancing was shaking the microphones, creating another round of piercing feedback. At this point there was so much feedback, you'd think this was an intro to Jimi Hendrix show. "Now! Circle pit…!" Mike grabbed him from behind before he could say any more.

"No! Cut!"

Later on that evening, the set was prepared for the next scene. It was a temporarily built castle just one mile away from the other castle. The Warner's decided to sit in on the shooting since their next one wasn't for a few more hours. That and their tour of Amsterdam was cut short.

"I told you that waitress wasn't into you" Dot responded critically.

"She would have been if Wakko hadn't eaten all the food in the bar"

"She said it was all you can eat!" Wakko remarked.

"Boys, no sense of control" Dot sighed.

"Spink, read that last line for me again" a new voice answered. It came from their co-star/special friend for the short. Dictator Dunlikus Umlatte. The Warner trio stared in silence. They hadn't really met him up until now. All they knew was that this was his very first acting role. Top heavy and muscular, the burly man donned a dark purple uniform. The youngest sibling's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Hello, Nurse!" Dot wailed. The man barely paid any attention as his eyes were glued to a copy of the script. Next to him, a short bearded man carried a copy of his own.

"Umlatte, we've rehearsed this scene 50 times, I think you…" Spink let out a yawn. "…have it"

"Nonsense! The star of this short must have his lines perfectly enunciated!" Umlatte replied.

"Uh, Equeeze me, Webster, what do you mean  _you're_  the star?" Yakko tapped his foot.

Umlatte twirled his long mustache. "I'm the villain. Everyone loves the villain in these stories. The villain is _always_ the star!"

"Maybe in Disney movies, but this is Warner Bros." Yakko shoved his own script copy in Umlatte's face. "And the script's title clearly says, King Yakko, not King Ham."

"Look who's talking" Wakko jutted a thumb at his older brother.

"Exactly" Dot added.

"Please, don't make me laugh" Umlatte scoffed

"Wanna bet?" Yakko fired back.

"Pshaw, your anvil collision from earlier got  _all_  the laughs out me."

Yakko narrowed his eyes at him. He had just started to forget his nose was still sore from that scene "Are you familiar with the term special friend, Mr. …" he looked at the script. "Ohm lette?"

"It's pronounced Oohm laht!" Umlatte enunciated.

"Whatever you say omelet man…" Before Yakko could say any more, the tiny bearded man came forward, tugging at Umlatte's coattails.

"Umlatte, we're on!" he said.

"Thank you, Spink" The costar simply tossed the script at Yakko's feet. The irritated Warner plopped down in a chair behind the camera. His siblings did likewise. Off to the side, Mike had his megaphone ready.

"And… Action!" Mike brought his voice to a whisper.

[Scene 3 Take 1]

The scene began with Umlatte looking through a spyglass. He hovered over the balcony's rocky ledge as if he were in a play for Shakespeare.

"So, the new king of Anvilania is a child!" Umlatte bellowed dramatically. He stressed his voice on every other word. "A _kid!_ A  _pushover"_. His meaty fists shook in the air

"Cut!"

A light bit of giggling came out of nowhere. Mike immediately knew where it was coming from.

Yakko…"Mike warned.

"Something tickled me, I'm sorry" Yakko replied innocently.

"Umlatte, you mind toning it down just a bit? That was a little over the top."

The co-star arched an eyebrow at him."Over the top? But isn't my character supposed to be a brute, mad with power?" Umlatt asked critically.

"Yes, but you can't sell it if you overact it too much"

"Isn't better to overact than to under act?" Umlatt remarked.

"Not if you want sound as silly as possible" Yakko joked.

[Scene 3 Take 3]

This time, Umlatte added less dramatic emphasis on his words.  _"_ So, the new king of Anvilania is a child. A kid, a pushover"

"A kid, a pushover" Spink repeated in a thick British accent. Umlatte bristled at his brief interjection.

"Anvilania has always made a fortune of those anvils…" Umlatte looked down to see Dot tugging onto his leg.

"Did anyone tell you look fantastic in purple?" She said, hearts appeared in her eyes.

"Get off!" he replied sternly.

[Scene 3 Take 6]

"Anviliania has always made a fortune of those anvils. But soon that fortune will be mine…DO YOU HEAR!" Umlatte's booming voice knocked Spink to the ground.

"I hear..." Spink weakly replied.

"Cut!'" Mike yelled over Yakko's chuckling. "You're supposed to be a bad guy, not a drill sergeant!"

[Scene 3 Take 7]

This time Umlatte kept his voice at mid volume. "Anviliania has always made a fortune of those anvils. But soon that fortune will be mine, do you hear?"

"I hear, I hear. But how will you take over the country?" Spink asked. Umlatte grabbed his minion, squeezing him till his eyes popped out of his head.

"I will go there and demand they surrender, the..." He stopped mid-sentence when Spink immediately wriggled out of his grasp. This time both the Warner brothers started laughing.

"Sorry, but he- he looked like those cute little squeaky toys from Petco…!" Wakko doubled over.

Dot scooted her seat several feet away from her brothers. "I'm not with them!"

"Ow! Not so tight will ya?!" the little man said while rubbing his neck. HIs British accent dropped instantly.

"Sorry" Umlatte apologized.

[Scene 3 Take 8]

Umlatte grabbed Spink again, doing his best not to squeeze the life out of him.

"I will go there and  _demand_  they surrender, the king is a child…" Umlatte grasped at the air with a meaty fist.

"Cut! Still, a little heavy on that delivery Umlatte" Mike stated.

"Yes, ham it up some more Mr. Omlette" Yakko retorted.

"It's pronounced Umlatte!" the costar yelled at him.

[Scene 3 Take 9]

"I will go there and demand they surrender, the king is a child. He will grovel before me". Spink fell out of his hands. "It will be like taking anvils from a baby!" The camera lens zoomed in as he cackled with maniacal laughter. Unfortunately, Umlatte didn't realize he was standing too close."Ugh! Get the camwa out of mah mowf!" he gagged.

"Oh no…" Mike groaned as he went over to help pull out the camera that was now half buried inside of Umlatte's mouth. When it was finally out, Umlatte approached the Warners.

"Well, what did you think?" he asked with a smug grin on his face. Yakko's face scrunched with skepticism.

"Ahh...that was okay. For a rookie," he said. The smugness instantly vanished from Umlatte's face.

"What?!"

"Hey, he's not bad for a first timer!" Wakko answered. Dot jumped onto Umlatte's shoulder pads.

"I'll say…" she cooed.

"See, I already have a fan!" Umlatte stated proudly.

"So? Fan admiration is irrational." Yakko quipped. Suddenly Mike stepped in between them.

"Guys cool it, I'm not going to have this going on all night!"

"Hey, he started it!" Yakko protested. Umlatt turned his back to him.

"I'm not going to let a child step all over an  _actor's_  debut." He grumbled.

"You're a stuntman who studied Shakespeare for two years; that doesn't make you a full-fledged actor," Mike said bluntly.

"I'm…going to rehearse some more" Umlatte gave him a sour scowl before storming off.

"Thanks for the honesty Mike" Yakko thanked Mike. "Two years? I've got him beat by 60 years of experience."

"…Which were spent in a water tower." Dot retorted. Yakko scowled at his little sister.

"You really know how to burst someone's bubble don't ya sis?"

"That's what I'm here for!" she smiled. Mike suddenly held his head and stormed off.

"Where are you going Mike, Potty Break?" Wakko asked.

"Aspirin break." Mike moaned.


	2. Back and Forth, Back and Forth

Later that night, the other castle was prepared for the next scene. A crowd of guests surrounded the Warner trio. A single spotlight down from above. Not wanting to have a repeat of the last song sequence, Yakko and his siblings spent the last half hour rehearsing. Which wasn't hard since they had very few  _scripted_  lines in this scene.

"Mike, can you give us five extra minutes?" Dot asked.

"Hey, what other stuff rhymes with friend?" Wakko looked down at his script.

"Relax sibs, I think we got it this time," said Yakko. With that, they decided to start with the show. Mike rose his megaphone.

"And… action!" he whispered.

[Scene 4 Take 1]

" _In dear old Anvilania, Everyone's our friend_." Yakko sang, this time without error.

" _We want to meet you all… " _sang Dot.

" _Or kick you in the can_!" Wakko blurted spontaneously. Both his siblings looked on in confusion. "What? It fits!"

"But it doesn't rhyme." Said Yakko.

[Scene 4 Take 2]

" _We want to meet you all… "_

" _And shake you by the hand_ " Wakko stared at his unamused siblings. "Hand! Hand! It rhymed!" he shrugged. A blare of a trumpet came near the front entrance.

"Dictator of Dunklikus, Umlatte" a spindly man announced. He looked behind him to see no one was there. Mike got up from his seat.

"You got to be kidding me…" he peeked behind the curtains. "Umlatte, what's wrong?"

"I'm not going out there dressed like this! Couldn't I keep my other costume?"

"You're kidding, right? You look fine. I'm positive"

"Positively, ridiculous!"Umlatte spat back. Ed came from behind Mike and peeked through the curtain. He had a brief giggle fit. "See, he knows it!"

"Ed's an idiot. He doesn't count."

"Piss off Mike!" the cameraman received a bonk to the head. "Ouch!"

"Come on it can't that bad…" Yakko spoke.

[Scene 4 Take 3]

"Dictator of Dunklikus Umlatte" the announcer recited again.

Umlatte trudged into the room in a gaudy bright purple and red uniform. Complete with tights, lace, and gold medallions... It only took one second for the Warner's to voice their opinions. And momentarily forgetting their lines in the process.

"Oh, never mind!" Yakko doubled over with laughter.

"Clown!" Wakko huddled behind his older brother.

"Even in a clown suit, he's handsome!" Dot beamed.

"Mike!" Umlatte whined.

"Just grin and bear it man" Mike pressed on. 'You'll do fine"

[Scene 4 Take 4]

"Dictator of Dunklikus, Umlatte"

Umlatte came out for the second time. He strutted in with a flick of his cape, doing his best to appear as regal as possible. The Warners happily bounced on their tails.

"Oh boy!" Dot cheered.

"The Clown is here!" Wakko did likewise.

"Yay!"

"All three of the Warners clambered onto the burly dictator.

"Are you here to entertain us Mr. Clown?" asked Yakko.

"Where are your magic tricks?" Dot searched Umlatte's pockets.

"I want a balloon animal that looks like a woodchuck!" Wakko blurted. Umlatte pried the trio off his chest.

"Please please, I am the dictator" he brushed himself off.

"Dictator? Like Hitler?!" Wakko hissed, deviating from the script.

"Nah, he's got more of a Stalin mustache. Only less thick." Dot pondered, doing likewise.

[Scene 4 Take 5]

"…I am the dictator."

Do you go by the name Mr. Tator?" Yakko improvised.

"No!" Umlatte spat.

[Scene 4 Take 8]

"Would you prefer the name tater tot?"

"No! No!"

[Scene 4 Take 9]

"Okay Dick, or is it, Tator? You mind if we call you Richard?"

"Or Little Richard?" Dot added. Wakko banged on a piano off to the side.

" _Good Golly miss molly_!" he sang raucously. Yakko shot a dirty look at both his sibs.

"What it's an innuendo and a celebrity name," said Dot.

[Scene 4 Take 13]

"… You mind if we call you Richard? I know, let's play musical chairs!"

The trio dragged Umlatte around the throne as they sang a little song. " _You never know when we're going to stop, we might go on forever, you could get sick waiting for us so we can stop…!"_  All four of them froze in place.

"Don't move! Give me one moment" Mike called out to them. He ran off to have a brief talk with the floor manager.

"The dancers for the next Polka sequence are here"

"Great, I was wondering what was keeping them…"

Meanwhile, sweat was beginning to bead off the Warner's faces. Umlatte's legs were beginning to tremble.

"H-how long does he want to us to stay h-here?" Umlatte asked through clenched teeth.

"I don't know…" Yakko strained.

After the break was over Mike came back. "Okay, action!"

[Scene 4 Take 14]

The scene picked almost instantly. All four of them plopped onto the throne at the same time.

"Darn, A tie" Wakko snapped his fingers.

"I know, we'll have a tiebreaker. Pin the tail on Mr. Tator!" Yakko proposed. While the musical chair part was in the script, this wasn't. Before Umlatte could react, he was already blindfolded with large bullseye stuck to his rear. Yakko himself was also blindfolded, as he felt around for his target. Umlatte angrily pulled off the blindfold when Yakko accidentally touched his butt.

"Stop you obnoxious creatures! I am not Mr Tator. Or Little Richard… I'm"

"Served with diced ham and peppers." Yakko finished his sentence.

"I told you it's not pronounced Om-lette!" Umlatte stomped his feet.

"That's that not what the script says. Your name ends with an E." Yakko held out his script copy.

"The E is silent!"

"Just like an omelet should be, silent" Yakko poked a finger at his mouth.

"When's lunch? I'm hungry now." Wakko rubbed his belly.

"Cut!" At this point, Mike's yelling was steadily being drowned out by the chuckling crowd in the back. He was grateful to know the microphones weren't picking all of this up.

[Scene 4 Take 18]

"Stop you obnoxious…!" A dry snark creaked from Umlatte's mouth. Yakko eyebrows bounced. He was getting to him. The dictator breathed deeply through his nostrils.

[Scene 4 Take 20]

"Stop you, obnoxious creatures, I am not Mr. Tator. I'm not your entertainment! That's your entertainment!"

The jester was back in the spotlight again. "Hey, Take my anvil" And was quickly taken out by another fallen anvil "Please…"

"Well if you're not the entertainment, then you shouldn't be wearing a costume," Yakko stated, briefly returning to the script. "Dot, let's help this man out." Dot slipped one of her dresses over Umlatte.

"Polka Dot?" he asked.

"Again? Oh alright." She said with slight exasperation. Umaltte suddenly found himself in another polka dance with the Warners. Lively, but unfitting, swing music blared throughout the castle. The sounds of saxophones and trumpets played over Yakko's fake accordion playing. Two extra dancers dressed as Beauty and the Beast danced in and out of the shot within seconds.

"What the hell…?" Ed gawked at Mike in confusion.

"Don't blame me, blame the script, Ed," Mike said just before the music stopped.

"No, No No! This is the uniform of a great man" Umlatte ripped the dress off him.

"Does he know you're wearing it?" Yakko quickly spat back.

"Im…" Umlatte doubled over and turned away for a way for a moment. His cheeks flushed bright red. This time the crowd was howling with laughter.

"I can-"Mike stifled a chuckle. "I can't even be mad at that. That's a good one"

"This is improv doc! You got to be quick on your feet!" Yakko snapped his fingers.

[Scene 4 Take 23]

"I am Umlatt Dunlikus and I demand you surrender your throne to me. I'll give you 24 hours to evacuate"

"Give me some laxatives and I'll cut that time in half" Yakko joked.

"Eww!" Wakko exclaimed.

"Yakko!" Dot reeled in disgust. Umlatt buried his face within his hand.

[Scene 4 Take 26]

"…I'll give you 24 hours to  _vacate_ " Umlatte readjusted his warning.

"Vacation? This is only my first day on the job." Yakko replied. More laughter came. Umlatte nearly sputtered as he tried his best to maintain his composure.

[Scene 4 Take 28]

"I demand your surrender!" the dictator growled.

"I will not surrender, you surrender!" Yakko answered sharply.

"Me, surrender?" Umlatte crossed his arms, playing along with the semi-improvisation.

"Alright, I accept. Hand over the keys to your castle."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'll go to war before I surrender."

"Then go ahead, and don't you come back until you learn so manners young man!"

Umlatte's teeth clenched with frustration. But Yakko could see the corners of his mouth shuddering upward.

"Cut!" Mike yelled. When Umlatte covered his mouth, Yakko swore he heard a brief chuckle.

"Ha, made you laugh" Yakko pointed him.

"I'm not! Damn it…!" The costar's face flushed a deeper shade of red. The laughter in the background was uproarious by now.

[Scene 4 Take 29]

Umaltte shook his fists in a complete fit of rage.

"Very well you silly child, this means war!" he declared, returning to the script.

"I thought that meant touch down" Yakko quipped. The other siblings appeared in cheer-leading outfits.

"Yay, push em back shove em back! Waayy back!" They cheered. Umlatte nearly lost his footing when they pushed back towards the exit.

"I'll see you on the battlefield!" he declared with a parting note.

"Wait, you forgot to get your parking ticket validated!" Yakko called out to him. The door slammed. "Oh pooh, a war" Yakko returned to his siblings.

" _And so I stand corrected, not everyone's a friend_ "

" _The Dictator, he wants a war_ " Dot and Wakko joined in.

" _So our country will defend._ " All of them sang together. Pretty soon the crowd joined in as well.

" _This means war! This means War! This means War!_ "

" _Of course you know this means warrr…_ " Mike flinched at the Warner's off-key screech that was supposed to be harmony. It was an instant tension killer.

"Cut!" he yelled.

"And it was going so well…" Wakko sighed.

"I told you we should have rehearsed an extra 5 minutes…!" Dot complained.

[Scene 4 Take 30]

" _...you know,this means War...ners_ " the trio finished the scene in perfect three harmony.

"Perfect! Now-" Mike was cut off by Umlatte's distinct shouting. Yakko and Wakko were dragging him back into the room.

"Come on! Admit it!" Yakko teased.

"Stop it! I wasn't laughing!" Umlatte yelled.

"Why were you smiling then?" Wakko asked.

"The lace in this costume is ticklish!"

"Can't even stay in character, and you call yourself an actor!" said Dot. "You're still handsome though"

"Who said he was acting?" Yakko retorted.

"I don't need this! I'll be retiring to my trailer." Umlatte huffed past Mike.

"We'll visit you on Thursday pops!" Yakko called after him. Umlatte's faced burned red again when he stormed back out of the room. Mike couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment or anger. Maybe both.

"He does know the exit's the  _other way_  right?" Mike wondered.

"Shut it!" Umlatte yelled out.

[Scene 5 Take 1]

Day 2:

The scene began with Nurse leading Yakko within the long castle walls.

"Hurry your majesty, these are desperate times. You must meet the cabinet" Nurse advised. Yakko dreamily gazed up at his attractive costar. He was too out of it to notice a wooden cabinet coming up.

_Thunk!_

"Hello, I'm Yakko. Nice to meet you" Yakko rubbed his head. "Ouch"

"Cut!" Mike yelled.

[Scene 5 Take 2]

This time Yakko stopped at a wooden cabinet. He opened one of the drawers.

"Hello, I'm Yakko. Nice to meet you." The pitch of his voice rose. "Oh the pleasures all mine"

"Sire...?"

"Wait til were alone," Yakko answered suggestively. Nurse ignored his off-script advance and led him to a conference room where three other cabinet members stood behind their seats. So far, the scene was going as intended. Yakko stood before them. "Gentlemen, please be seated"

The cabinet members did as told. Three pops were heard. Cursing and groaning, they got back up. Each of their seats was drenched with water.

"See, that's you get for not paying attention!" Out of the corner of his eye, his accomplice Wakko, hid an extra water balloon under his head. "Wait until I say Simon says!"

"You didn't give us a warning!" one of them complained.

"Oh Jesus…!" Mike muttered.

[Scene 5 Take 3]

"Gentlemen, please be seated. Aha ha-ha! I didn't say Simon says." The others froze at Yakkos' command.

"Simon says, please be seated." They sat down with no accidents this time. Yakko did likewise. "So what's the plan?"

"Our situation is grave, our army hasn't been to war in 200 years" the oldest chair member stated. Yakko simply stared at the man in complete disbelief. "What is it?" he asked.

Yakko leaned in, stroking his white beard," I really don't who you're trying to fool with that fake beard" He swiped it clean off.

"Ouch!"

"See, fake" He hopped over to the next guy and swiped his brown mustache beard off. "Also fake, and this guy…"

"Oww! Let go!" the third one's red beard wouldn't budge.

"Oops"

[Scene 5 Take 3]

"… hasn't been to war in 200 years."

"Then they should be very well rested then," Yakko replied.

"First we must prepare the troops" the second member proposed.

"No, first we must get new weapons." The third one cut in.

"Ennngh! You're both wrong!" Yakko stood behind a Gyparody podium. "First we must have a new national anthem. Hit it!" Dot strummed an electric guitar, a top hat covering a scraggly mane of white hair.

" _Then darlin' don't refrain, Or I'll just end up walkin' In the old Avilanaia Rain!_ " Wakko squealed his best Axl Rose impression.

"I'm  _really_ tempted, but… no" Mike cracked a half smile at that.

"Worth a shot" Dot shrugged. Then a beardless chair member snatched the white hair from her head.

[Scene 5 Take 4]

"Hi it!"

Wakko played an old ragtime tune on a piano.

" _Oh the Anvil shines on my old Anvialian Home"_  the siblings sang in unison. Everyone else stood up, hands held to their hearts.

"Thank you please be seated. "The others immediately fell to the ground when the chairs suddenly broke apart.

"You guys are not good at this game…" Wakko said while shaking his head. The hilt of a screwdriver peeked from under his shirt cuff.

"Cut!"

[Scene 5 Take 5]

"Heh, very good. Simon Says, please be seated" The others did as instructed.

"Your majesty I may…"

"I wish you would..." Yakko blurted out. Nurse paused a moment before guiding everyone's attention to a map stretched across the entire table

" Now if we posting our army on the northern border here, and a battalion of tanks on the…"

While Nurse was busy giving explaining their game plan, Dot noticed Wakko rubbing his belly.

"You know when our next lunch break is?" He whispered.

"No, but I thought you ate already?" she said quietly.

"I didn't. Someone swiped my plate of bagels before I could eat them."

A soft crunch could be heard. Ed boredly stood behind his camera with a powdered bagel in his hand.

"Oh, those were yours?" the cameraman answered, crumbs spilling from his mouth. "They were delicious." He finished it off with a self-satisfied smile. A hard scowl stretched across the Warner's face. Dot pulled Wakko away from Ed before he could do any damage.

"…But, your highness" the first chair member protested.

"It'll be your highness if you keep calling me that." Yakko retorted.

"We must prepare!"

"Very Well Make no middle man! I am the…"

"The king, we know!" Everyone groaned.

"Cut!"

[Scene 5 Take 6]

"Very well. Dot! Wakko!" Both Warners appeared at his side. " Wakko, As the king of Anviliana I appoint you general of the armed forces, prepare the troops!" Wakko dutifully saluted before running off. "Dot, I appoint you minister of girly things I don't understand."

That covers a lot of ground" Dot ad-libbed.

"I know! We need- Ouch!" A microphone boom landed square on his head. "A retake…"

[Scene 5 Take 7]

"I know! We need new uniforms"

"How about these?" Dot wheeled in her line of dresses again.

"Polka Dot?" Everyone asked.

"Not Again!" Dot moaned. She was genuinely getting tired of this gag. And so followed another polka sequence.

" _Yo Dre! Kick in the bass…!"_  Slick Hip hop oozed through the speakers. Mike said nothing as he blankly stared at what he was seeing. He'd never thought in his career he'd see a polka done to Bee Gees, Benny Goodman, and now N.W.A., all in the same week. The music stopped before the first explicit lyric was uttered.

"Now on with the plan, the meeting is adjourned. You are dismissed." Yakko declared. The chair members almost did as told: "Ah ah ah I didn't say Simon says."

"And…Cut!" said Mike. "Let's get everything set up in the next room so we.-"

"Mike, can you help me?" Nurse interrupted his train of thought. She was struggling to pull off 50 pounds of adolescent Warner clutched to her chest.

Yakko gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Can't we stay like this forever?" he pleaded, not wanting to let go.

"You're very lucky you're cute" Nurse stated irritably as she took him out the room.

"Hey, that's my bit!" Dot whined. Mike groaned and followed after her.

When the others had left the room, Wakko noticed something out the corner of his eye. Ed was busy packing up his camera equipment. When he finished, two wrapped brownies fell out of the cameraman's backpack.

Still pretty miffed from not having breakfast earlier, Wakko didn't hesitate to snatch them up before Ed noticed. Technically it wasn't stealing, they were misplaced. After downing the treats in one gulp, he happily tossed the wrapping off to the side. He never noticed that wrapping paper contained a warning label in written in Dutch. And it translated to this.

_Warning: contains several ounces of cannabis and hash_

An hour later, the next shot began with Dot in a dressing room. One of the soldiers stood atop a platform modeling one of her uniforms. Equipped with pink fabric and striped clown shoes, it was loose fitting and entirely mismatched.

[Scene 5 Take 8]

"I think this uniform needs something, something that says I'm here to destroy you, but with a sense of fun." The youngest sibling pondered. " I know! Wear your clothes backward like Kris Kross! No…

[Scene 5 Take 9]

"Go commando! Nah…"

[Scene 5 Take 12]

"Eu Natural." She donned a French accent. "Nope"

[Scene 5 Take 16]

She held up one of her polka dot dresses from earlier. The soldier opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't even think about it" Dot clamped his mouth shut.

[Scene 5 Take 20]

"I got it, wear your underwear outside of your pants! Hey it worked for Madonna"

"Bullshit..." Ed faked a cough.

"That's your opinion." Mike muttered "Next!"

[Scene 5 Take 21]

Several troops lined up outside the castle, geared for battle. The Warner trio marched before them. The Anivialian flag flanked behind them. Yakko cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Men, all this stuff you've heard about Anvilania not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of…"

"Cut!"

"Oops, wrong movie" Yakko apologized.

[Scene 5 Take 22]

"Troops, you are about to" Yakko suddenly disappeared when the flag fell down upon him. "And for my next trick, I'll be using our next take"

[Scene 5 Take 24]

"Troops, you are about to head off into war." A scratchy fit of giggling came out of nowhere. Both he and Dot looked to their left to realize where it was coming from.

"It's okay, I'm sorry" Wakko apologized between laughs.

[Scene 5 Take 30]

"Troops, you are about to head off into war, I won't lie to you, some of you may not return, and the rest of you definitely won't." He barely noticed the uneasy frowns and mutterings from the troops. Part of that was from Wakko struggling to hide his snickers. "Now although war is a cruel and brutal affair, it is also…" Another fit of laughter made him lose concentration. His smile disappeared from his face. "Wakko!, it wasn't that funny"

"Cut!"

"No, no, no no! It's okay. I'm good now!" Wakko waved off his agitated brother. Although he wasn't fully convinced, Yakko resumed with the scene.

[Scene 5 Take 31]

"Now although war is a cruel and brutal affair, it is also dangerous and stupid, you may get squashed like a bug, smooshed and oozing. Or crunched like shredded wheat into dust. Or ripped apart….!"

The entire army ran away screaming in terror, leaving nothing but a few discarded helmets.

"Maybe you should have lied just a little," said Dot.

"So we'll go to war ourselves, how hard could it be?"

Wakko looked through a telescope and jumped back in shock "Holy Moly! I can see over 2000 colors in this thing!" He nearly stumbled on his own feet.

[Scene 5 Take 29]

"…How hard could it be?"

"This hard" Wakko recited his correct line. Yakko looked through the telescope. He didn't see the 2000 colors Wakko saw. He did, however, see an enormous army peering just off in the distance. They were completely outnumbered.

"Ooh, we're going to need a few commercial breaks to figure this one out." The shot ended with an iris out. In reality, the camera lens had closed in on Yakko's nose and pinched it off. "Ouch!"

"Sorry" Ed replied, not sounding sorry at all. He reopened the lens so Yakko could get his nose.

"Hey, I need that!"

"Cut! That's it for today, everyone! We'll start again tomorrow." Mike announced through his megaphone.

"Wakko, you sure you're okay?" Yakko looked down at his brother staring at nothing, his head bobbing in a daze. Still giggling as well.

"Just a little dizzy." His eyes perked with excitement. "Hey, the snack bar's been refilled!" and with that little bit, he ran off.

"That was very weird." Yakko frowned.

"Yakko, he's our brother. He's always weird." Dot retorted. Both of them followed after their brother, assuming it was just Middle Kid Syndrome in full effect. Unknown to them Ed was fumbling through his backpack. Someone had unzipped it.

"What the…?! Who swiped all my brownies?!" Ed yelled.


	3. One More Time

Two more scenes left. That was all Mike was concerned about when he took out his megaphone the next day. "Alright, everyone! We have only one more day so let's get this out right now-"

"Mike! Uh… we got another problem here!" someone called out to him. The director froze, this was the last thing he needed to hear.

"Dare I turn around?" he said to himself. Mike closed his eyes and slowly turned around. His floor manager stood uneasily before him. "What's wrong?"

"It turns out two of our cast members are sick…"

"What?! Who?!" Mike yelled in exasperation.

"Well, Nurse has come down a cold."

Mike inhaled deeply at this cruel irony. "That's _okay_ , we won't really need her until the very last scene." He paused for a moment. "But who else is sick?"

"Ahh…" a guttural moan creaked behind him. Yakko and Dot were carefully guiding Wakko, who was barely able to stand up on his own two feet. His red cap covered his half-lidded eyes.

"Wakko, what happened?" Mike knelt down to his height. He nearly jumped back when the Warner's head abruptly perked his head up. Now his eyes were wide open and changing into various colors.

"Whoa guys, it's a pink haired dragon!" said Wakko. Mike slowly backed away from Wakko after hearing that.

"What's wrong with him?" Ed asked as he wiped off a camera lens.

Yakko rubbed the bags underneath his red eyes. "We don't know! It was worse last night!"

"He ruined my beauty sleep! He wouldn't shut up, and he kept seeing things!" Dot crankily filled them in.

The middle sibling nodded, completely slack-jawed. "I saw a three-headed woodchuck! An upside down orange, the yellow submarine, and lots of pretty spots!"

"Maybe it was something he ate?" Mike wondered. "What  _did_  you have Wakko?"

"All I had was the lunch table..."

"Our bed sheets" Dot cut in irritably.

"And a few of these brownies" Wakko pulled out one that was still unwrapped. Behind Mike, Ed's jaw dropped when he saw it.

"Wait, those aren't regular brownies…"Mike said. He took a closer look at them and read the label. His eyes widened with horror. "Where'd you get these from?"

"From him…" Wakko pointed a finger at Ed. The cameraman's face dropped when all eyes turned towards him. He shook a fist at Wakko.

"You limey snitch…" Ed muttered before Mike grabbed him by the shirt.

"Ed! Why?!" he seethed through clenched teeth.

"What?! It's Amsterdam! They're legal." A moment later, Ed's face met the ground. Mike paced around him, rubbing his forehead.

"So what do we do now?" Yakko asked. He pulled Wakko away from a nearby half munched tulip patch.

"Might as well wait for the brownies to wear off," Ed said once got back on his feet. "Looks like he's startin to crash"

"How do these brownies work anyway?" Dot looked at the labeled brownies, struggling to understand the Dutch writing. Mike took the brownie from her.

"Dot, that would require a 2-hour long educational lecture that neither you nor I have the patience for." He explained.

So it's on with the show?"

"Exactly!" Yakko answered.

[Scene 6 Take 1]

The Warners strained with all their all muscles as they tried to move the enormous wooden anvil on wheels. It didn't help that it rained the night before. Their feet slipped against the muddy ground.

"Argh, you sure there's not a _real_  anvil inside this thing?!" Yakko pushed with all his might.

[Scene 6 Take 3]

"Why are we pushing a large turkey?" Wakko asked. The half-baked Warner had a noticeable belly bulge. Just minutes before filming, he cleared the breakfast table in 6 seconds. A personal new record.

[Scene 6 Take 5]

The anvil still didn't budge. Then Wakko let out an enormous belch that managed to spring the anvil forward a few feet. The other Warners flopped face first into the soggy ground. Dot shuddered at the brown stains all over her.

"Makeup!" she shrieked.

[Scene 6 Take 9]

After several bad takes, a crane off-screen attached a hook to the front end of the anvil. This made it much easier to move. Finally, they could go forward, pun intended.

"You think this plan will work?" Dot wondered.

"It better, we don't have any more commercial breaks" Yakko replied

They soon reached the fortress just outside of Dunlikus's castle. The heavy anvil slammed right into one of the wooden walls. A low grunt came from inside.

"You okay Perry?" Yakko put an ear to the anvil.

"Yes, ow" a voice answered.

[Scene 6 Take 10]

This time, the anvil is brought up just a few feet away from the entrance. The wooden doors slowly opened up.

Meanwhile, inside the fortress walls, Umlatte and Spink looked on from a distance. Once you got past the enormous barrage of soldiers, tanks, and artillery, you could see them safely huddled inside a barricaded trench.

They heard one of their guards inspect the suspicious package. "It's a present for the dictator!"

"It's a present for the dictator, a present for you" Spink stated.

"What?" Umlatte yelled. The tight helmet impaired his hearing.

"A present for you!" Spink yelled into his ears.

"Thank you, Bring it in!" the guards did as told and wheeled the wooden anvil inside. At the same time, the Warners huddled just outside the walls. Wakko pulled out a rigged TNT detonator.

"Hit it!" Yakko said before he covered his ears. Wakko pushed down on the detonator handle. Nothing happened

[Scene 6 Take 11]

"Hit it!"

"Already did…" Wakko held up another pot brownie" Dot quickly smacked it out of his hand.

[Scene 6 Take 12]

"Hit it!"

Somehow, a tank managed to blow up few feet away. The explosion caused a chain reaction of artillery catching fire and eventually blowing up as well. Soldiers ran out of the fortress as debris and rubble rained down from the air. The Warners ducked when a flaming wheel sailed just above their heads.

"Ooh," the Warners said in unison.

"Wow! A flying doughnut!" Wakko exclaimed.

"What the f-?! Cut! Cut!" Mike screamed.

When the smoke cleared. Nothing was left except damaged artillery and a few singed soldiers. Surprisingly, however, the wooden anvil was left untouched.

Umlatte and Spink slowly rose out of their trench.

"What the…" Umlatte could barely muster the strength to finish his sentence. Spink doused a burning flame on his head with a finger.

"Now how's that for a climax!" Yakko exclaimed.

Mike scratched his head "Too bad none of this will make it to the final cut…"

[Scene 6 Take 13]

"Hit it!" After a brief check-in faulty wiring, this time the scene goes as planned. The wooden anvil deploys its 'secret' weapon. Perry Coma appeared before the soldiers, microphone in hand.

"  _Anvillaniaaa, Anvialania…_." the sleep-inducing performance was done for the final time. Just as expected, the soldiers steadily nodded off into a deep sleep. Even Perry himself knocked himself out.

"It's their secret weapon …" Spink yawed and eventually fell asleep as well.

"What?!" Umlatt barked. The Warners looked inside.

"It worked! Come my siblings we must capture the flag!" the trio ran inside the unguarded entrance way. Yakko proudly stood atop a small mound where Dunlikius's flag stood.

"I declare this castle in the name of…" Yakko moment of pride dissipated when he noticed something. "Uh, where's our flag?"

[Scene 6 Take 14]

This time with the Anvilanian flag in hand, they marched into the fortress and planted it where Dunlikius flag stood. Wakko snapped a shot of Yakko posing near the flag with an old polaroid.

"King Yakko, now that you've won the war, what are you going to do?" Dot reported.

"I'm heading to Hooters!" Yakko ad-libbed.

"Cut!"

[Scene 6 Take 15]

"I'm having a bottle of Coke"

[Scene Take 18]

"Make no middle man, I am…

[Scene 6 take 25]

"I'm going to Dis-

"Hold it right there!" Umalatte came from behind them. He had a bazooka aimed directly at them.

"Where'd you get that?!" Yakko looked at him in shock.

"It's Slappy Squirrel's, she let us borrow it" Mike explained. Wakko walked right up to Umlatte for a closer look.

"Don't worry probably not loaded…" Wakko pressed a button on the side of the weapon. A jet of smoke streaked just above the Warners' heads, and right towards the crew.

"Holy Shit!" Ed jumped out of the way just before the missile obliterated his camera and the ground beneath it. He fearfully shivered in Mike's arms.

"I think you could stand to lose a few pounds Ed" the director struggled to stand up.

[Scene 6 Take 26]

"Hold it right there!"

"Hey, how come you're not asleep?" Dot pointed at the dictator towering above her.

"What?!"

"Enough with the what jokes" Yakko took off Umlatte's helmet. "We win Mr. Tator; war's over, go on home, we won now, you have no army, no hard feelings okay?" On that cheerful note, the Warners zipped down the mound and right towards the exit. They were suddenly intercepted when Umlatte appeared in front of them.

Gloating, the burly dictator leaned right to their faces. "Hah, I don't need an army now, because I got you three…!"

Umlatte stopped mid-sentence when Wakko nearly fainted in shock. "Holy moly! His head just grew three sizes, how strong were those brownies?!"

"That's not the brownies Wakko, that's just ego inflation" Yakko joked.

[Scene 6 Take 27]

"…I got you three! And once you are gone, I'll have your country as well" The dictator exploded in a fit of maniacal laughter.

"Wait, you're forgetting something?" Yakko stopped him before he pulled the trigger.

"What?"

"I thought I said enough with the what jokes"

[Scene 6 Take 28]

"What?"

Yakko took out a fake contract sheet "Well, being an evil villain you are contractually required to explain your plan before you get rid of us."

Unamused, Umlatte tossed the contract aside and aimed at the Warners in point blank range.

"But I'd prefer I got rid you right now…"

"Cut!"

"I'm sorry, but that just doesn't fit my character! A real villain wouldn't blab his master plan!"

"But it's a perfect set up to your big scene coming up" Mike countered.

"No! It's an obvious cliché" Umlatte crossed his arms. "This isn't a Saturday Morning cartoon.

Dot raised her hand. Yakko stopped her before she said anything "Don't tell him, he might crack"

"You're not following it directly; you're just… subverting it." Mike explained. "Turning the cliché into an act of your own.

"Really?" Umlatte scowl disappeared.

"Yes, this actually actuates your character's ego, showing that he still sees his chance of victory in spite of his impending defeat. It makes your final scene, all more powerful…" Umlatte pondered this while he scratched his head. The Warner's did likewise.

Yakko stopped to look ahead at the very next scene. A sly smile crept across his face. "For once I agree with you Mike, maybe that is a good idea" he spouted in agreement.

"Alright, if makes my scene better. I'll do it" a huge grin spread across Umlatte's face. Yakko and his siblings simply rolled their eyes.

"You believe that bull you said?" Ed whispered to Mike.

"Hell no," he muttered. "Action!"

[Scene 6 Take 29]

"…you are contractually required to explain your master plan before you get rid of us."

"Oh, right," Umlatte grumbled. He put down the bazooka. "After I disposed of you, I will control Anvilania and finally, the anvils will all be mine!" another round of maniacal laughter came.

"Anvils?" the trio asked.

"Yes, I will have all the anvils!"

"Exsquzze me, this whole thing was about anvils? Why didn't you say so?" said Yakko.

"Here you go, you can have my anvil." Dot handed him one. Umlatte scratched his head at what laid in his hand.

"I don't want this tiny thing!"

"Well, you can have this one" Yakko handed him a larger anvil.

"No!"Umlatte swiped it out of his hands

"Don't look at me I'm keeping mine," Wakko said while holding onto his own.

"No, no! I want big anvils and lots of them!"

"Cut! A little flat on that delivery Umlatt" Mike stated.

"Say, Mike, just out of curiosity, why  _did_  you get a  _stuntman_  to play the lead villain, to begin with?" Yakko asked him.

"Why not? Obviously, he appreciates my talent" Umlatte interjected.

"Uh sure, yeah that's it," Mike responded dismissively. "Action!"

[Scene 6 Take 30]

_" I want big anvils and lots of them!"_

"No problem. Wait right here." Yakko and the others ran off screen. "Actually ehhh a little over here." Yakko came back and moved Umlatte over just a few inches. He disappeared again.

Several feet in the air, a red balloon levitated Wakko right over Umlatte, large anvil in hands.

"Ready Wakko?!" he called from off-screen. Wakko gave a thumbs up

"Action!" Mike barked.

[Scene 6 Take 31]

Dumbfounded, the dictator looked down at the ground. Below his feet was a large bullseye. And above his head was a tiny anvil. The item dinked off his forehead.

"What is this?!" Umlatte scooped it up. "I said I wanted big anvils..."  _Wham!_  The big anvil in question came a second later.

"Sorry" Wakko called out.

[Scene 6 Take 32]

This time the larger one hit first. Dot came up and pulled the heavy load off him.

"How was that?" Umlatte instantly sprang back on his feet.

"Eh, Timing was way off," Mike commented. "Let's try that again"

[Scene 6 Take 36]

_Wham!_  The same one came again. It hit before Umlatte could even look up. Dot panted when she pulled it off him again.

"Ahh... That still doesn't look right" Yakko pondered. "Don't you think so Mike?"

[Scene 6 Take 40]

_Wham!_

"Cut! Let's tighten up the timing just a little bit more " said Mike

"How many takes do we need?!" Dot breathlessly asked. Sweat beaded as she struggled to pick up the anvil.

"As many as we need"

This would be repeated again and again. Some were too early, others were late. Wakko had to keep re-inflating his balloon to stay in the air. Yakko had to take over anvil retrieving when Dot was too tired. And even then, he got tired himself. And yet, Umlatte contentiously got back up with each one. Finally, after a few takes, it was perfect.

[Scene 6 Take 100]

_Wham!_  " _Those_  kind of anvils?" Yakko asked.

"Yeeesss!" Umlatt replied, barely unfazed by having 200 pounds of cast iron squishing his head,

"Okay!" Yakko came back a few seconds later "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Nooo!"

[Scene 6 Take 101]

Before Umlatte knew it, two more anvils came, each one larger than the last. The heavy payloads repeatedly squished the costar to the ground. .Some came at the snip of rope, others by a catapult leaving him dizzy and aching. But Umlatte shook off each one. Then Yakko brought a truck full of them.

"Factory direct to you! No…" Yakko scratched his head. He couldn't believe it. "Uhh… what was my line again?" A wave of groans and yells from the crew made Yakko flinch.

"Are you serious?!" Mike screeched. "Cut!"

[Scene 6 Take 102]

"Factory direct you, No middleman, I am the king!" He unloaded the heavy truckload on his target. Umlatte squeezed out from underneath the anvils. He gasped, it wasn't over yet. The Warners had more anvils rigged with wooden catapults.

"Fire!"

Umlatte ran for cover, narrowly avoiding the volley of anvils that descended upon him. Dirt flew from the ground as more came. He had no choice but to retreat to his castle. But even there he still wasn't safe. The anvils started obliterated the surrounding castle, each one coming in like falling bombs. The only spot left was its tallest tower. The angry dictator peeked out from the very top.

"You little...! Where did they go?" A shadow fell above him. When he looked up, he saw where it belonged to. In the air, the Warners dangled an enormous anvil from the base of a hot air balloon. What he couldn't see however were the several lines of invisible wires holding it up. That and Wakko was constantly pumping more hot air, struggling to keep the vehicle airborne. When the balloon was finally about to give way, Yakko cut the line. The dictator could do nothing but scream as the final anvil flattened what was left of his empire.

_Thud!_

[Scene 6 Take 103]

Damaged and defeated, Umatte pitifully crawled out of the rubble that was once his castle. "I need…more…"

The Warners ran up to him, narrowly avoiding a balloon crash just minutes before.

"Poor little evil fella who asked for it" said, Dot,

"Here, you can have my -"Wakko froze when his face turned green. "Uh oh" Yakko quickly handed him Umlatte's helmet. Not a moment later, Wakko went behind a boulder and upchucked into it.

"Dee- gusting!" Dot cringed.

[Scene 6 Take 104]

"Here you can have my anvil after all…" he handed the anvil to his defeated opponent.

"Looks like the brownies worked out of his system," Ed commented briefly. "We're keeping this our little secret aren't we, Mike?"

"I won't spill if you won't! What happens in Amsterdam, stays in Amsterdam." Mike winked before drinking from a water bottle.

"Well that completes the delivery, just sign here." Yakko handed the fallen dictator a clipboard.

"You win, I give up, I surrender,  _do with me what you will!"_  Umlatt cried.

Yakko blew a kiss to the audience "Goodnight everybody!"

Mike immediately sprayed Ed with water. The director doubled over in a coughing fit. "Cu… cut!"

"Goddammit, Mike!" Ed yelled.

"Yakko! Have you no shred of innocence?!" Dot remarked in offense.

"Ehhh… nope!" Yakko answered.

"Not me! " Wakko cut in.

You guys are pigs! Both of you!" Dot stormed off.

[Scene 6 Take 105]

"...Do with me what you will!"

Yakko closed out the scene with his proposition. "Mr. Tator I think I've got a punishment for you that's fair just and clever, or maybe just fairly clever."

"Whatever"

"And Cut! Fantastic job, Umlatt!" Mike congratulated.

The Warner's costar immediately got up on his feet. He smoothed back his slightly rustled hair and brushed off his armor. Despite taking all those hits, he was still able to keep his composure.

"He's still standing?!" Dot stared in amazement.

"Not even Wile Coyote can take that many!" Yakko exclaimed.

"Of course I am, a real actor knows how to take a hit." Umlatte scoffed in response.

"You sure? That many anvils hitting your head can't be healthy." Wakko advised.

"Nonsense!" he paused for a moment. "Uh, which one of you is the girl again? Never mind" The Warners shook their heads as they watched Umlatte stumble over several wires and rocks on the ground.

[Scene 7 Take 1]

The final scene played out back at the Anvialian castle. The crowd was in thunderous celebration as they welcomed back the Warners. Despite still being under the weather, Nurse gratefully played her part as the Warners approached her. She held out her hand for Yakko to kiss it. But not before she blew her nose with some tissue. Yakko uneasily stepped back a bit, his smile wavering for a moment.

"Sorry" she replied in stuffed voiced.

"Hello, Contagious Nurse!" Yakko whooped. Dot facepalmed at her brother's response.

[Scene 7 Take 2]

Yakko politely kissed Nurse's hand. After him, Dot kneeled into a curtsy. After her, Wakko held out his hand to shake, before abruptly resting a leg on Nurses' hand.

"What the..." Ed scratched his head.

"It's a Chico Marx reference Ed. You wouldn't know him." Mike explained.

"Who?"

"See?"

" _We thank you all for your support_ " the Warner trio creaked slightly off key.

"Cut!"

"Give us a minute! Dot yelled.

Mike patiently waited as the Warners literally spent a full minute spraying their mouths with freshener spray, drinking water, flipping through the script, singing musical scales …."

"Are you done yet!?" the director shouted. Okay, so Mike wasn't _that_  patient.

"Were good!" they responded in unison.

[Scene 7 Take 3]

_" We thank you all for your support, and now the war we now report."_

_"Our country had been threatened by a mean and nasty man…"_

Surprisingly, the scene went off without too many errors. Yakko, Dot, and Wakko traded off each other's lines with ease.

_" …We gathered all the bravest men but they all ran away"_

_"So Wakko, Dot, the King and I went off to earn our pay!_ "

" _The battle it was fierce_ " Dot ran into one shot with a hardhat on. Yakko did a backflip not far behind her.

" _But we rolled with the- Ouch_!" Yakko winced after colliding into Dot. A second later, Wakko fell from above, knocking both of them down.

"What happened?' Wakko asked.

"Why'd you come in late Dot?" Yakko complained.

"I came in late? You jumped in too early…!" Dot spat back.

[Scene 7 Take 5]

Yakko flipped into the shot again perfectly this time. " _But we rolled with the punch._ "

" _T he odds they were against us_" both siblings caught their brother.

" _Six hours without lunch_." Wakko rubbed his empty stomach. It was unscripted, it rhymed, but it worked. They gently put him down.

_We fooled the old dictator and his castle was destroyed, but we're not mean in that way so now he's gainfully employed."_

Off to the side, a wooden door opened. Umlatte appeared in the jester's costume. Oddly enough, he found this less embarrassing than his ballroom attire.

"This anvil was so big…"

"How big was it?" the crowd asked. The large anvil from earlier flattened him once more.

_Thud!_

"This big…" his lips squeaked from underneath.

_" So now won't you join us, for our country and the king? Raise your hammers high, and let the anvils ring._" The Warners sang together, mallets raised above their heads.

" _L et the anvils ring, let the anvils ring…!_" The Anvilianians did as told and pounded row of several anvils. The chimes of solid iron got and louder and louder to point where the ground started to vibrate.

The castle began to shake and rumble. Cracks stretched across the walls. Mike along with the rest of the crew managed to bolt out the main entrance. The entire castle façade crumbled to the ground. What took over 3 months to construct went down in only one minute. When the dust cleared, the Warners heads peaked above the rubble. Wakko pulled up one of Dot's dresses.

"Polka Dot?" the Warner brothers said in unison.

"Why not?" Dot shrugged. She picked up the fake accordion while Yakko pulled Nurse out of the debris.

Finally, the correct Polka music played. Nurse and the Warners danced the day away as the short ended with an iris out.

"Cut and print. That's a wrap everyone!" Mike exclaimed. He fell back into a chair with a sigh of relief.

"Finally!" Dot cheered.

"Oh that's wonderful-"Nurse barely finished her sentence before she let out a huge sneeze all over Yakko. The eldest Warner was unfazed.

"Excuse me"

"Bless You" Yakko replied with a smile. "Although now I'll have a real reason to drop by your office now"

"Boys..." Dot sighed as she helped Nurse down from the pile of rubble.

"Help me, Yakko" Wakko called out to him. Yakko came over and helped him pull out Umlatte from underneath the rubble. Their costar struggled to stand up straight. "You know Umlatte, you're alright with us"

"Really?" the fazed costar responded.

Yakko jutted a finger at his chest "Yep, I see a bright future for your acting career"

"A-actually, I think I'm considering retirement." With a groan, Umlatte flopped to the ground.

"But didn't you hear? Mike says he another great role for you!" Wakko spoke up. Umlatte immediately got back up after hearing that.

"I think I'll reconsider, what's it about?"

"Ah, something about an orange polyester dinosaur or something like that…" Yakko mused halfheartedly. Umlatte's expression soured at hearing that. Suddenly Mike came forward and patted him on the back.

"Seriously though, You all were great this week!" the director admitted. "Honestly, I was expecting this to end a whole lot worse."

"Ah, Mike you gotta have faith in your fellow actors," Yakko said while he rested an arm on his shoulders. "The short's done, me and Umlatte are cool, Wakko's not sick"

"Uh oh" Wakko gulped. His face turned green.

"Not again!" Yakko and Dot whined. Cheeks bulging, Wakko hurried past them. Not surprisingly, everyone avoided him like the plague when he ran towards the nearest barf bag he could find. Ed's backpack.

"No, my others camera's in there!" the cameraman shrieked.

"Your camera?! He's going into  _my_  dressing room!" Umlatte called after him. Both he and the stout crew member followed after him. They stopped just as Wakko ran inside Umlatte's trailer. Everyone shuddered in anticipation of what would come next. Nothing but silence. Not a few seconds later, Wakko hopped out as quickly as he came in. He came out looking completely fine.

"Ahh… wait, I think I'm alright now." Wakko grinned.

"You're not going to puke on my bag?" Ed worriedly asked.

"Or on my trailer?" Umlatte did likewise.

"Nope. I think I'm fine" Wakko handed Ed his backpack.

"How do you know?" Mike asked.

"Because I already did  _inside_  them." And then, Ed unzipped the backpack. The smell made everyone gag.

"You limey shit!" Ed's face went beet red.

"Yikes!" Wakko jumped out of dodge when Ed lunged for him. Spitting out grass, the stubbly legged cameraman chased after Wakko. At the same time, Umlatte peeked inside the trailer, his jaw hit the floor.

"Ahh! It's all over my bed!" he screeched. Umlatte threw his floppy dingle hat to the ground before chasing after the others.

"An older sibling's job is never done!"Yakko sighed before he ran off to rescue his brother, who was now in hot pursuit by Ed and Umlatte.

"We really need to use this in an episode one day..." said Dot. She shook her head. Suddenly she felt someone tap her shoulder. Behind her, Mike held out a small anvil in his hand.

"Just drop it on me. Please…" the director pleaded.

**A/N: Well, thanks for sticking around to the end. I'm honestly pretty torn on this one. While I did enjoy writing it, I feel I could have done better in several spots. But that's criticism for you.**

**Feel free to leave your overall responses at the end. If possible, let me know which part of this entire has your favorite so far. In case some of you are wondering, I still haven't given up on Gang of Four". The next chapter for that is still in the drafting process. Iv'e been tied between working and being in school. So I'm sorry that I haven't been as attentive to this site.**

**Hope you all are enjoying 2017! Have a great Day**

**One more thing, the bit with Yakko pressing to Nurse's breast wasn't made up. Tom Reugger actually owns a cell of this actually happening. Apparently, it was removed just before the short was completed. Look it up.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks for sticking around to the end of this newest installment. I'm honestly pretty torn on this one. While I did enjoy writing it, I feel I could have done better in several spots. But that's criticism for you.  
> Feel free to leave your overall responses at the end. If possible, let me know which part of this entire series has been your favorite so far. Feel free to check out some of my other stories if you are interested.  
> One more thing, the bit with Yakko pressing to Nurse's breast wasn't made up. Tom Reugger actually owns a cell of this actually happening. Apparently, it was removed just before the short was completed. Look it up. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uzMOSkgHBOI/TqjmzETox4I/AAAAAAAAAo4/MrCf1tj1Dz0/s1600/yakko+and+hello+nurse.jpg


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